The Thoughts of a Coffee Drinking Vessel

2018 was an eye opener. It was the year of the “Ghost”. You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. Let me clarify. I’m not talking about the Holy Ghost. I’m talking about people going “ghost”. When all hell breaks loose in your life they completely disappear. And you don’t understand why because you went through the fire with them and endured more hell than them!!!! Isn’t it amazing that you have the audacity to go through something? (Inserts sarcastic laugh) But peep this. You are still here and you are surviving and thriving. In fact, life seems to be a little easier because you can officially concentrate on your healing without distractions. Yes it hurt for them to abandon you. I cried, I screamed, and I asked myself what was wrong with me. Until I had a courageous conversation with my therapist. She got me all the way together. She reminded me that I am resilient. That I am worthy of the love I give. I will attract people in my life who will appreciate me for who I am ...

2018 was full of loss. Some of us lost loved ones, we lost our hope, our drive, our passion. It seemed like every single time we took steps to make progress life came and knocked the hell out of us. And it made me angry. I didn't understand why it seems like things kept going left when we were doing right. Why did people go ghost in the midst of a heartbreaking year? I let my anger affect the things that I was doing and I honestly didn't care anymore. Why should I extend myself when no one else was willing to do the same. I still served, I was there for others, I went to work, and I was angry. Truth be told I am still processing my anger. It didn't seem fair. It still doesn't seem fair. I don't need to be told anything deep or profound. I just need an understanding. I know that there are five stages of grief. I know that I can talk to God about anything. Have you ever done that and not received a response? Have you ever read the word for comfort and when you...

It's been a minute since I have blogged. There have been many changes in life on a personal and professional level. Recently I celebrated my 38th birthday. For the first time in a very long time, I am genuinely excited about life and what is for me. I am learning what I should tolerate and what I shouldn't. I cannot put my purpose on hold anymore because certain people are afraid of change. I am no longer ashamed of my past. I am no longer walking in fear due to abandonment and rejection. This is not the time for me to slack in order for others to feel comfortable. Many people are content where they are and that is fine. I am not. I am not forcing relationships to flourish. If you are connected to me then you should be able to adapt to the positive changes in life I am making. The same goes for you. Why are you settling for less than you are worth? On Sunday, one of the ministers told us to examine what we tolerate. Are you comfortable in your life? You cannot complain ab...

Assignments Expectations People who go ghost.... Can we talk about the first 8 months of my 2018? I have find out where I stand and it is all because of my assignment on this earth. Everyone is not equipped to be in my presence. I am unpacking a lot of baggage they aren't ready for. Here is the thing. It is the one's who are always there for others that really go through rough times alone. Everyone is used to them being Superwoman and Superman. Once they see a crack they forget you are human and they realize that they have no use for you. Their assignment in your life has come to an abrupt end. How SWAY?! No warning. Just poof, gone. I am in the middle of this situation. I confused a lifetime with a season and it shook me to the core. As one who is always there, one person ran from my trouble right after I helped them through a crisis. Little did I know that was my final assignment concerning them. It hurts but now I get it. The Lord is calling me higher. I am finally...

They say broken crayons still color but what do you do when you don't have the strength to paint a better picture. What is all of your energy is gone? What do you do then? You look for a solution because what is familiar is no longer working. People seem to think that you have it all together and in reality God has fixed it where you have to completely trust Him and it seems that everything is falling apart. I am here to encourage us today. We aren't going always going to be in this position. I believe that God has to do something because we have done all we can do and nothing is happening.  The harder the press the greater the oil. We have to be crushed so we can be used by God not people. (Catch it) In this season, don't let any person take advantage of you. It's okay to say no. Do not let them guilt trip you. Gather the strength to color even if you don't see the frame yet. It's not a puzzle but the pieces are slowly coming together. I have n...

No one ever wants to talk about it. We see the benefits but no one talks about the messy parts. No one actually discusses the struggle that comes with the yes that was given. Why is that? Is it a secret that no one is supposed to discuss? I am writing this post because my yes got messy and all I keep being told is that it will get better. That my blessing is coming. I know this already. Can someone please equip my generation on how to handle the messy part of this process? We are out here doing the best we can and the side eyes are not helping matters, the whispers aren't prayers, and the advice is ehhhhh..... I said what I said. You want us to carry ourselves a certain way. Train us. Show us by example how we can conquer this mess we are in. We are battling generational curses while trying to create generational wealth in an atmosphere we are unfamiliar with. We are literally crying out for guidance. Where are the mentors who won't drop the ball? We have a call on our ...

My Mental Health Looks Like…. Author: Fredrika M Sellers This can’t be life right now. I went from being able to handle what was coming my way to crying at the drop of hat for what I thought was no reason. This happened within a span of a couple of months. During the day I would go about my business and at night when everyone else was asleep I was up in the bathroom silently crying and not understanding where the tears were coming from. This happened on a consistent basis and I was masking it as I was just tired and that once I got a fair amount of sleep that it would stop. Then the unthinkable happened. One day I was at home, and I just started to cry and the next thing I knew I flung my cell phone across the room. Tears streaming down my face and everyone looking at me in shock. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed my cell phone and walked to the Starbucks where I sat in silence for at least two hours contemplating why I had that type of reaction. It was then that I deci...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I hope that everyone is well. This is the first blog of 2018 and I am so excited to share what God shares with me this year. This first blog is short but encouraging. We all have got to stop sitting on our gifts! Whatever gifts, talents, etc you have please utilize them this year. It is time to GO FORTH. We have the ability to impact a whole world and we do not need anyone's permission to do so. Go create, be great in everything that you do. Let the multiple streams that are in you flow out!!! Your gifts serve a purpose and it is time to walk into that purpose. Know you are loved! Here is to a great 2018!!! May you birth multiple gifts, dreams, and visions. One Love, Fredrika

Feeling uncomfortable? People disappearing all of the sudden? This is the time that you pay attention to everything that is going on around you. When going to a higher level everyone you want to be equipped isn't and it hurts. Things aren't going according to plan and it's frustrating. This is purpose pulling at you. It's all or nothing. Either you want what God wants for you or you don't. You are either going to be obedient or disobedient. You will decide whether you want to remain comfortable or be great in this thing we call life. You can no longer play the blame game. You make time for everything else. At this point if it doesn't happen it is because you decided not to do it. This blog is a little rough. There is a necessary shift going on because people need what you have to offer. Stop sitting on your gifts. God gave them to you for a reason. The days of "waiting on God" have got to stop. Faith without works is dead. It's All or Noth...

So many times we are tired and our bodies feel heavy. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. Let me explain it in a way that you will understand. Have you ever been to a fabric store? I can spend all day in one. I love the feel of certain fabrics but I know that some of them don't look right on me because of the way I am built. We often see people wearing stuff that doesn't look right on them because it lays in way that is unflattering. So here is my question? What are you wearing? Is it the emotions and situations of other people? Is it their opinions? It doesn't lay right on you because it wasn't made for you. You were only supposed to touch it quickly not wear it. You are angry at them for what you choose to do. Wearing their "garment" will not excuse you from dealing with your own battles. Take it off. It doesn't belong to you. They have been equipped for that. You cannot fight every battle for them. They have to get it for themselves. I lo...

Things have been rough. In a season of isolation so that the greatness that is in us can be pulled out so we can help others in this thing we call life. Truly at a place where all we can do is trust the Lord, because everything else we have tried has failed. I just wanted to write a note of encouragement to us. -We are intelligent -We are creative -We are loved -We are needed -We are intelligent -We are worth the wait -We are filled with joy -We will walk in peace - We will take care of ourselves first, everyone else will have to wait -We will pray for others but never overwhelm ourselves with their battles. So many times in life in order to avoid our own healing, we shoulder the battles of others and then complain about not having time for ourselves. There is a greatness in your own life that needs to come forth. Trust God through this isolation season. They have been doing just fine. They have learned how to rescue themselves. They don't always need you to be the anc...

Last month I studied the book of Proverbs and this month I am studying the book of Esther. Why? Because I need wisdom for what the Lord is preparing me for. I am not the type just to do/try something because someone else is doing it. What works for them may not work for me. Plus my assignment is different. In the book of Esther, it says that it took a year of preparation before she was presented to the king. She had to be instructed on how to do certain things. She listened and as a result she was the most favored of them all. What was done within the year? She was given a special menu and beauty treatments. So here is first question: What are you eating in this preparation time? Spiritually and physically. You can't feed into stuff you aren't hungry for. You can't eat what they eat. They have a different assignment probably. Second question: are you taking what was prescribed to you? Six months of myrrh is what Esther was given followed by six months of other beauty tr...

This is a note of encouragement to the following people. To the shy, to the overlooked, to the hurt, to the abandoned, I just want you to know that I understand why you want to lay low. It is a lot going on out here and especially with you. You have tried to reach out, to take the necessary steps and most of the time you have had to do it by yourself. You have had people to break promises, overlook you, lie on and to you. How many more tears do you have to shed? It is to the point where you want to go into hiding and never come out again. I am and have been in your position. First of all I want to tell you that you aren’t the only one. Nobody is talking about it. No one is shedding light on this dark place. Until now. This is the time for you to be healing. Talk to a professional if necessary. You cannot stay in this place. You already know what it feels like and we (you and I), have to be there for those who are currently experiencing it. We cannot allow bitterness to set in. W...

We have to stop making broken promises to people. We have to stop lying on God. Did He really say that or are you in your flesh as usual?! The embody: it lines up with His word and it is a confirmation for the person you are speaking to. If it ain't you may hear the words "shut up"(first and only warning) We have to stop praying for doors to open then playing dumb when they do. There are people out here genuinely crying out and seeing nothing yet. Be more grateful. Stop performing and start actually ministering. Lives are at stake beloved. Stop playing Stop overlooking good people who want a chance to help for those who just want to be seen and a seat on the front row. Great pretenders are taking over. Stop falling for the banana in the tail pipe. We have to walk in love, in our purpose with courage. Oh the things.. Lord help us to do better. Please show us what we need to fix. I pray we are mature enough to see it and do something about it other than making an e...

This letter is to those who are so deep that they are drowning in a teaspoon of water. I am coming for you yes I am. We (my generation) are tired. Dear Deep Saints, We love you very much. We really do. But y'all don't be helping sometimes. We are out here fighting real life battles (some of it not pertaining to us because you were to cute to kill these generational curses you keep telling us to pray about). We in therapy dealing with traumatic issues so we don't pass on this mess to other generations. We are praying. God is the one who told us to seek therapy because we came to you and you ain't help matters. Doctors are on the earth to help. Okay. With that being said, when we seek help from those who you think don't know Jesus we are actually getting the help we need. Y'all keep glossing over surface issues and we digging up roots. We ain't got time to patty cake. We know the devil is real. So we are beating him to the punch by using the tools given....

1 Corinthians 3:6 " I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase" Because sometimes God will ask us to do something ridiculous. At the end of May, I started a small garden. I have never had a green thumb in my life. Friends would give me flowers and the next day they would be dead. But not in this season. What I am planting in the physical is growing faster than I thought. Some of the flowers are seeds, others are flowers that have already been planted somewhere else. Hence the bible verse posted above. Let me tell you what happened the other day. The landscapers came and cut our grass and they cut my flowers. Let me tell you. I was heated you understand me. To me... (keywords) what I had planted had been tampered with. But as I was sitting in my house, I was reminded that there was still a seed in the ground and that the soil was still good. I calmed down and to this day, I proceed to water my babies as I call them. This is a note of encouragement. Continue t...

There is a lot going on with people right now. And they are running on fumes. At times they will come to you. Not for an opinion or advice, but because they need an ear. They will be talking about things you have never experienced or been taught about. Because they need an ear. They won't say anything sometimes, because they only need your presence. Stop pushing them to speak. When they are ready to open up they will. They may just need to be by themselves. They aren't ready to jump off a bridge but they are overstimulated by life and need to recharge. Let them. Don't call back to back to back to back. Let them get themselves together. When they are ready, they will reach out. Please don't tell them that you understand. Especially if you don't. What they may be struggling with you could be complaining about. They don't have enough to pay their bills but you are complaining that you have to pay them. Be thankful that you can do that. If you have been in their...

This letter is to the those who smile with the pain in their hurt, who refuse to lose their praise. This letter is to those who have experienced "church" hurt. Dear Secretly Hurting, I just wanted to write you a letter of encouragement. An open letter so you know your cries are felt and your prayers are being heard. I know they say that church didn't hurt you. I was told that myself. They have completely forgotten that "we" not a "building" are the church. Here you are trying to give your best and they always shut down your ideas, they constantly talk about you in your face with that smile on the face but the anger in their eyes. I know what it is like to be overlooked because you aren't what they say you should be. They are wrapped up in titles, conventions, and conferences looking for an "elevation" instead of the edification that true disciples in the kingdom are craving. I know how you feel when you are in worship and they loo...

I have been kind of quiet the past few weeks. Barely on the phone and very little interaction with people unless I am at work or running an errand. I am getting it together. What does she mean, you may ask? I'll elaborate. I cannot assist anyone with their journey until I identify the things that are hindering mine. And that is what I have been doing. I have been in what you call recognition mode. Once I see the problem that is blocking my movement, I get rid of it. That means that I don't have time to waste time with things that don't pertain to me. Let me give a little more background so you can fully understand. When it came to my prayer life I was being specific for everyone else and generic for me. They were getting the things that they desired and needed and I was still stuck wondering why. Now I know why. So in this season it is my prayer that God's will be done in your life. I am getting specific about the things that I need and desire. This year I cannot ...

Happy New Year to you all! This is my first blog of 2017! This year I am more determined to stay focus on what matters because that is what is magnified. I am more determined not to be distracted. I am in the process of shifting certain areas of my life that I need to focus on. It is my prayer that you do the same. Please focus on what you need to focus on for you. I have learned that if I keep reliving my past I will never appreciate my present and my future. Focus on purpose for purpose. Smile more, change your conversations to those that inspire you to do better. That may mean interacting with other people. (The introvert in me just fussed me out) This year no one should have to repeat to you what you already know because you are focused. You are loved and you are successful. Get ready to experience one of the best years ever. One Love! Fredrika