The Thoughts of a Coffee Drinking Vessel

2018 was an eye opener. It was the year of the “Ghost”. You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. Let me clarify. I’m not talking about the Holy Ghost. I’m talking about people going “ghost”. When all hell breaks loose in your life they completely disappear. And you don’t understand why because you went through the fire with them and endured more hell than them!!!! Isn’t it amazing that you have the audacity to go through something? (Inserts sarcastic laugh) But peep this. You are still here and you are surviving and thriving. In fact, life seems to be a little easier because you can officially concentrate on your healing without distractions. Yes it hurt for them to abandon you. I cried, I screamed, and I asked myself what was wrong with me. Until I had a courageous conversation with my therapist. She got me all the way together. She reminded me that I am resilient. That I am worthy of the love I give. I will attract people in my life who will appreciate me for who I am

2018 was full of loss. Some of us lost loved ones, we lost our hope, our drive, our passion. It seemed like every single time we took steps to make progress life came and knocked the hell out of us. And it made me angry. I didn't understand why it seems like things kept going left when we were doing right. Why did people go ghost in the midst of a heartbreaking year? I let my anger affect the things that I was doing and I honestly didn't care anymore. Why should I extend myself when no one else was willing to do the same. I still served, I was there for others, I went to work, and I was angry. Truth be told I am still processing my anger. It didn't seem fair. It still doesn't seem fair. I don't need to be told anything deep or profound. I just need an understanding. I know that there are five stages of grief. I know that I can talk to God about anything. Have you ever done that and not received a response? Have you ever read the word for comfort and when you