When You Don't Understand
2018 was full of loss. Some of us lost loved ones, we lost our hope, our drive, our passion. It seemed like every single time we took steps to make progress life came and knocked the hell out of us.
And it made me angry.
I didn't understand why it seems like things kept going left when we were doing right. Why did people go ghost in the midst of a heartbreaking year? I let my anger affect the things that I was doing and I honestly didn't care anymore. Why should I extend myself when no one else was willing to do the same.
I still served, I was there for others, I went to work, and I was angry. Truth be told I am still processing my anger. It didn't seem fair. It still doesn't seem fair. I don't need to be told anything deep or profound. I just need an understanding.
I know that there are five stages of grief. I know that I can talk to God about anything. Have you ever done that and not received a response? Have you ever read the word for comfort and when you finished you still feel heavy? This is my life experience right now. And I am pushing through it.
I am making the decision to allow myself to feel what it is that I am feeling. I am no longer masking my emotions for the comfort of others. At this time, I know I don't have the emotional capacity to handle another person's burdens.
3 losses in 6 months. My aunt, my uncle, and my brother. 2018 was not kind to me or my family. I continue to pray that we are comforted and strengthened. I also have the mindset that enough is enough already.
What do you do when you don't understand? Some say trust God (which I do). others will say pray ( doing that), and then you do what I am doing. Keep it moving I guess. Get your drive, your focus, your purpose, and passion back. Most importantly, the best thing I can do is allow the healing process to continue. Which means I am absolutely allowed to have moments. And so are you. Every person heals differently. Don't force your process on another person.
So here is to 2019..
Grow in love, live life, and yeah...
**If you would like to read more of my writings please go to Amazon and order my books. Search: Fredrika Sellers**
Fredrika
And it made me angry.
I didn't understand why it seems like things kept going left when we were doing right. Why did people go ghost in the midst of a heartbreaking year? I let my anger affect the things that I was doing and I honestly didn't care anymore. Why should I extend myself when no one else was willing to do the same.
I still served, I was there for others, I went to work, and I was angry. Truth be told I am still processing my anger. It didn't seem fair. It still doesn't seem fair. I don't need to be told anything deep or profound. I just need an understanding.
I know that there are five stages of grief. I know that I can talk to God about anything. Have you ever done that and not received a response? Have you ever read the word for comfort and when you finished you still feel heavy? This is my life experience right now. And I am pushing through it.
I am making the decision to allow myself to feel what it is that I am feeling. I am no longer masking my emotions for the comfort of others. At this time, I know I don't have the emotional capacity to handle another person's burdens.
3 losses in 6 months. My aunt, my uncle, and my brother. 2018 was not kind to me or my family. I continue to pray that we are comforted and strengthened. I also have the mindset that enough is enough already.
What do you do when you don't understand? Some say trust God (which I do). others will say pray ( doing that), and then you do what I am doing. Keep it moving I guess. Get your drive, your focus, your purpose, and passion back. Most importantly, the best thing I can do is allow the healing process to continue. Which means I am absolutely allowed to have moments. And so are you. Every person heals differently. Don't force your process on another person.
So here is to 2019..
Grow in love, live life, and yeah...
**If you would like to read more of my writings please go to Amazon and order my books. Search: Fredrika Sellers**
Fredrika
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