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Surviving and Thriving after the “Ghost”

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2018 was an eye opener. It was the year of the “Ghost”. You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. Let me clarify. I’m not talking about the Holy Ghost. I’m talking about people going “ghost”. When all hell breaks loose in your life they completely disappear. And you don’t understand why because you went through the fire with them and endured more hell than them!!!! Isn’t it amazing that you have the audacity to go through something? (Inserts sarcastic laugh) But peep this. You are still here and you are surviving and thriving. In fact, life seems to be a little easier because you can officially concentrate on your healing without distractions. Yes it hurt for them to abandon you. I cried, I screamed, and I asked myself what was wrong with me. Until I had a courageous conversation with my therapist. She got me all the way together. She reminded me that I am resilient. That I am worthy of the love I give. I will attract people in my life who will appreciate me for who I am
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When You Don't Understand

2018 was full of loss. Some of us lost loved ones, we lost our hope, our drive, our passion. It seemed like every single time we took steps to make progress life came and knocked the hell out of us. And it made me angry. I didn't understand why it seems like things kept going left when we were doing right. Why did people go ghost in the midst of a heartbreaking year? I let my anger affect the things that I was doing and I honestly didn't care anymore. Why should I extend myself when no one else was willing to do the same. I still served, I was there for others, I went to work, and I was angry. Truth be told I am still processing my anger. It didn't seem fair. It still doesn't seem fair. I don't need to be told anything deep or profound. I just need an understanding. I know that there are five stages of grief. I know that I can talk to God about anything. Have you ever done that and not received a response? Have you ever read the word for comfort and when you
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Embracing Purpose

It's been a minute since I have blogged. There have been many changes in life on a personal and professional level. Recently I celebrated my 38th birthday. For the first time in a very long time, I am genuinely excited about life and what is for me. I am learning what I should tolerate and what I shouldn't. I cannot put my purpose on hold anymore because certain people are afraid of change. I am no longer ashamed of my past. I am no longer walking in fear due to abandonment and rejection. This is not the time for me to slack in order for others to feel comfortable. Many people are content where they are and that is fine. I am not. I am not forcing relationships to flourish. If you are connected to me then you should be able to adapt to the positive changes in life I am making. The same goes for you. Why are you settling for less than you are worth? On Sunday, one of the ministers told us to examine what we tolerate. Are you comfortable in your life? You cannot complain ab
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Handle With Care: Another Open Letter

Assignments Expectations People who go ghost.... Can we talk about the first 8 months of my 2018? I have find out where I stand and it is all because of my assignment on this earth. Everyone is not equipped to be in my presence. I am unpacking a lot of baggage they aren't ready for. Here is the thing. It is the one's who are always there for others that really go through rough times alone. Everyone is used to them being Superwoman and Superman. Once they see a crack they forget you are human and they realize that they have no use for you. Their assignment in your life has come to an abrupt end. How SWAY?! No warning. Just poof, gone. I am in the middle of this situation. I confused a lifetime with a season and it shook me to the core. As one who is always there, one person ran from my trouble right after I helped them through a crisis. Little did I know that was my final assignment concerning them. It hurts but now I get it. The Lord is calling me higher. I am finally
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No Strength 2 Color

They say broken crayons still color but what do you do when you don't have the strength to paint a better picture. What is all of your energy is gone? What do you do then? You look for a solution because what is familiar is no longer working. People seem to think that you have it all together and in reality God has fixed it where you have to completely trust Him and it seems that everything is falling apart. I am here to encourage us today. We aren't going always going to be in this position. I believe that God has to do something because we have done all we can do and nothing is happening.  The harder the press the greater the oil. We have to be crushed so we can be used by God not people. (Catch it) In this season, don't let any person take advantage of you. It's okay to say no. Do not let them guilt trip you. Gather the strength to color even if you don't see the frame yet. It's not a puzzle but the pieces are slowly coming together. I have n
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My "Yes" Got Messy, Now What

No one ever wants to talk about it. We see the benefits but no one talks about the messy parts. No one actually discusses the struggle that comes with the yes that was given. Why is that? Is it a secret that no one is supposed to discuss? I am writing this post because my yes got messy and all I keep being told is that it will get better. That my blessing is coming. I know this already. Can someone please equip my generation on how to handle the messy part of this process? We are out here doing the best we can and the side eyes are not helping matters, the whispers aren't prayers, and the advice is ehhhhh..... I said what I said. You want us to carry ourselves a certain way. Train us. Show us by example how we can conquer this mess we are in. We are battling generational curses while trying to create generational wealth in an atmosphere we are unfamiliar with. We are literally crying out for guidance. Where are the mentors who won't drop the ball? We have a call on our
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My Mental Health Looks Like...

My Mental Health Looks Like…. Author: Fredrika M Sellers This can’t be life right now. I went from being able to handle what was coming my way to crying at the drop of hat for what I thought was no reason. This happened within a span of a couple of months. During the day I would go about my business and at night when everyone else was asleep I was up in the bathroom silently crying and not understanding where the tears were coming from. This happened on a consistent basis and I was masking it as I was just tired and that once I got a fair amount of sleep that it would stop. Then the unthinkable happened. One day I was at home, and I just started to cry and the next thing I knew I flung my cell phone across the room. Tears streaming down my face and everyone looking at me in shock. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed my cell phone and walked to the Starbucks where I sat in silence for at least two hours contemplating why I had that type of reaction. It was then that I deci
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